Ouch. And more ouch.
On Sunday we went paint balling as a very late birthday present for my brother (his birthday was in August just to give you an idea of the extent of the lateness. Mum's organisational skills. Pfttt.) And I have been left with a delightful array of bruises as a momento. Blue, purple, brown and greeny yellow. The whole spectrum.
It was SO much fun but my competitive streak was definitely unleashed and I can't say that it's the best part of my personality. The thing is, the guys in charge split us into two teams - one consisting solely of grown men and teenage boys, some with their own equipment, ready to destroy and defeat. Our team was predominantly made up of boys of eleven and twelve. So the outcome was pretty easy to foresee from the start.
The other team, the blues, were utter pooheads. They took no notice of the fact that the majority of our team had not yet entered puberty and proceeded to take no pity whatsoever. The rule of 'no shooting from closer than 10 feet' was ignored and the rule of 'stop shooting someone when they are already out and screaming "I'M OUT YOU IDIOTS"' was pretty much overlooked too.
At one point the Marshall made the call of cease fire. Our team lowered our weapons. The blue team, however, decided to carry on sending a shower of bullets over the fort wall. A second call of cease fire was made. And ignored again. Then, just after the Marshall shouted 'cease fire!' for the third time, I got absolutely pelted in the face by a convoy of bullets. The bullets move at 100mph. So, I will shamelessly admit, I stood up, seething and choking on a mouthful of paint, and shouted "CEASE FIRE MOTHERF*CKERS". As I said...not the best side of my personality...
Anyway, the day was lots of fun and a good work out too but I would strongly recommend that you try to avoid fat, smelly men who will insist on shooting you at point blank and behaving as if they believe they are truly fighting for Queen and country. Jeez Louise.
xxx
1 comment:
Now, I know I'm a bear and so you may not think I have much ground for saying this, but have you ever thought about becoming a writer? This entry was one of the funniest and smartest things I have read in a long time. You have a real talent, you should pursue it. I read a lot for a bear and you have a certain flair (Ha, that rhymes. We're quite poetical us bears.)Do it.
Roar.
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