'Fours bars, no credit' is a phrase we have decided to apply to my dearest little brother. It was created when we were sat in Cafe Nero in Chichester; I needed to make a phone call but I had no signal. Mum had no signal. Gary had no signal. Callum whipped out his phone and proudly proclaimed... 'I've got four bars mate!... oh...but no credit.' This is his life. Every opportunity is placed at his feet but he has no drive or ambition to actually give a shit. Unless of course it relates to the X-box in which case his 'drive' and ambition' are through the roof.
Now, this morning, I had an Epiphany of sorts and came to realise that this phrase applies to me too but in an entirely different way.
I downloaded the soundtrack of Wicked because I realised that I didn't actually own my own copy! Apart from the one that plays on continuous loop in my brain of course. I sat listening to the songs for about an hour. Pure Bliss. There isn't much else that makes me feel as happy as Wicked. It reminds of being in year 9 at school and bombing around the classroom with Gisu - giving our best performance of every song. Gisu was Elphie and I was Glinda and the rest of the class would scream at us to shut up until their voices were hoarse but we believed that we were fabulous. When we went to see the show in London, our friends came along to humour us. They sat and 'enjoyed' it. Gisu and I on the other hand lived every minute of it. Laughter, tears, shouts of glee, hands clutched to chest, brows furrowed and limbs tensed. Hell, you could have popped us in the front row of the chorus and we wouldn't have looked out of place. What can I say, I love it I love it I love it. It is inexpressible.
Leaping around the kitchen in my pyjamas this morning, I started to believe (as I always do when listening to Wicked) that some day I could very well be on stage playing Glinda. I have the ambition, the passion, the love, the drive. What else could I possibly need??
Ah yes... The talent.
Four bars. And no credit.
Sigh.
